Number 21 of 52 Lifelong Communication Lessons: The art of connecting
May 25, 2015 |
| Beijing National Stadium ("Bird's Nest") |
The year was 2008.
The western economy tanked, Obama became the first black president of the United States and Beijing hosted the Summer Olympics with their famous Bird's Nest stadium. In Vancouver, Gregor Robertson was elected as Mayor (67 lane-kilometers of bike routes have since been added in the city).
I was working with a group of philanthropists and community leaders trying to bring more support and aid to Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. This area is renown for people with health, mental health, addiction, crime and homeless challenges. It is a complex problem and has been for many years. I know. I had been involved in earlier initiatives such as the Vancouver Agreement, launched in 2000, to bring together three levels of government to work collaboratively on this front.
At one point in the 2008 process, a group put together tours of the downtrodden areas with opportunities for people with money and/or influence to see some of the good works. I was on one of the tours when one of the wealthy folks I knew took a few of us off the scheduled tour and up to one of the resident's rooms. I gather the resident and my colleague had struck up a conversation about art and we were taking a detour to check it out.
While huddled in this gentleman's "SRO" (single room occupancy) tiny abode talking about the cost of art supplies, I was struck by how easy it was for this person of means to find a common area of connection with someone who could barely afford a paint brush. The monied man had started out as a struggling artist and would mix sand in his paint to make it last longer. It was a marvelous moment. A unexpected rare insight into the two lives.
I wondered how they got onto the subject and contemplated how it may have played out with me. My background as the daughter of artist parents surely would have come up. Would we have made the same connection and would that have generated an invitation to his room to see his art? Our gender difference may have impacted the invitation and the response. Hard to know, after the fact.
I joke that in Vancouver there is only one degree of separation in this small interconnected community. What this scenario taught me is there is no degree of separation anywhere if we engage in true listening and open ourselves to any possibility. I like to think we would have ended up in that room had anyone been part of the initial conversation, but I doubt it.
It is up to each of us to find common links with people we know or meet. For example, I just found out a close working associate likes sci-fi novels. What a surprise after many years of knowing this man. And, my sister has just finished writing a sci-fi book. I venture to bet there is always a connected thread buried somewhere, we just have to search for it.
Communication Lessons:
- Look for commonalities, they are there.
- Go off the schedule, it is always more interesting.
- Do a little audit of your friends and associates, ask him or her to tell you something about themselves you don't know. Could be fun and enlightening.
Fast Forward to 2015:
Could we use these simple strategies to get people out of entrenched positions on hot topics such as bike lanes in Vancouver? Could the anti people connect to some cyclists to hear their viewpoint, could the pro side help decrease concerns?
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