Number 22 of 52 Lifelong Communication Lessons: Unintentionally insensitive
June 01, 2015 |
| Jim Morrison |
The year was 1971.
Jim Morrison dies at age 27 and Guru Maharaj Ji gave his first speech at the Conway Hall in London (I was there). In Vancouver, a group of activists set sail in a ship called "The Greenpeace" to try to stop nuclear weapon testing in the US.
I had been backpacking around Europe and got a nasty bout of food poisoning. So ill, I ended up in a little hospital in Shrewsbury, England. As I lay zonked out by the meds they doled out, I was privy to the chatter of nurses in my section. Most people in my ward suffered from dementia and were in a drug induced state as well. Not sure why I was in that part of the hospital but I expect it was due to lack of space. Hence, the gossipy nurses were not concerned with being overheard.
Their sidebar conversations were amusing to me. I enjoyed their accents and biting sense of humour. That was, until the day, two of our Florence Nightingales started imitating a visiting doctor. They were putting on Canadian accents. I was taken aback. They mocked us Canucks royally with long, drawn out phrases that did not make us sound too bright.
Obviously, they did not know I was Canadian. It was not overly bothersome to me but I did not enjoy their quick witted banter as much after that. Unintentional insensitivity happens every day. I overhear it in coffee shops, retail stores, at public events, driving with people and in meetings. Derogatory comments come in many shapes and sizes. Even how you react to someone's weight loss can be hurtful. "Wow, you dropped a ton," is not really what a weight watcher's devotee wants to hear.
The perpetrators rarely seem to notice when they have offended. Usually, the comments are made under the guise of humour. This case of mimicking Canadian accents was mild but it gave me a tiny taste of how it feels to be the butt of a discriminatory joke.
Communication Lessons:
- There are many ways we can be unitentionally insensitive and hurt people's feelings. The real trick is to pay attention to the reaction we elicit and take a look inward.
- Sometimes it is just a blunt comment or lack of awareness of sensitive issues people might be facing. I expect we all do this at one time or another. Like everyone, I enjoy a good laugh but I am making a concerted effort not to do it at someone else's expense.
- It is better to leave this kind of humour to professional comedians.
Fast Forward to 2015:
Insensitivity does not even have to be in the form of a comment. It could be something on your desk! Check out this story. Derogatory visuals of women at a Lilly Pulitzer employee's desk becomes an online issue and turns off customers
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Thanks to Peter Morgan for catching a wording error. I sincerely appreciate any and all feedback. I first met Peter when he was editor of a local magazine. So generous of him to take the time to advise me of my faux pas. Check him out at morgan-news.com
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