Number 20 of 52 Lifelong Communication Lessons: Conversations to remember
May 18, 2015 |
| US President Richard Nixon announcing his resignation |
The
year was 1974.
Richard Nixon becomes the first US President forced to resign after the Watergate scandal. Leonardo DiCaprio is born and Ed Sullivan passes away - "Goodnight, Eddie". In Vancouver, the Knight Street bridge opens, replacing the Fraser Street bridge.
It
was the year before I married. I was meeting some of my soon-to-be husband’s relatives
for the first time. We were invited to a backyard bar-b-que with cousins, Aunts
and Uncles. Most of the immediate relatives were in Saskatchewan and this was
the group that resided in Vancouver.
We
arrived a bit late and bedraggled. I think we had spent the morning at the
beach. I was in my typical attire of the day – a peasant dress, leather anklet
and bandana. I was barefoot, my long hair partially braided and messy and my
feet were dirty. They were impeccably dressed. It looked like they had all been
at the hair salon that day. Their home was spotless inside and out. Even their
lawn looked like you could eat off it.
That
was when I met cousin, Terri-Anne. She and I were the same age. While
vastly different, we struck up a friendship that would last for decades. She
was a devout Christian, immaculate dresser with a sweet, cheery disposition.
Without stating the obvious, I was the opposite. The other differentiator was
our health. Terri-Anne had muscular dystrophy. She was diagnosed at a young age
and it was progressively getting worse. When we met that day she was still
working downtown and driving her own car. As the years progressed, her health
declined. Each time we met up something else had impacted her comfort and
mobility. The only thing that never changed was her cheery attitude toward life
and the people around her.
We
had a sporadic relationship. There was not much in common other than the bond
of family and just enjoying each other’s company but we kept in regular
contact.
Terri-Anne
died last year. We had come in and out of each other’s lives for 40 years. The
final few years were the toughest. Both her parents had died and she was hit
with many nasty ailments and more than one bout of cancer. I can’t even begin
to describe the awful pain and discomfort she endured. We talked about dying,
pain, fear, lack of fairness, anger, expectations, desires and more.
Throughout
it all, she remained stoic and positive but real and honest about her feelings.
Her faith was her anchor and she talked about it often. One of the many things
I loved most was her acceptance of different perspectives. She would pray
for us and we would send her positive thoughts. As strongly as she believed in
her religion, she never once let it impact on a truly lovely relationship. I
will treasure my Terri-Anne conversations forever.
Lessons Learned:
- Vastly
different people can have great relationships when there is no expectation or
judgment on either side.
- Through
adversity it is important to have “real” conversations and take opportunities to
express all emotions.
- Cherish and value unique perspectives people bring into your life.
Fast Forward to 2015:
Think about the woman who chose to take her own life and wrote the blog, Dead At Noon. Imagine the conversations this husband and wife must have shared.
Think about the woman who chose to take her own life and wrote the blog, Dead At Noon. Imagine the conversations this husband and wife must have shared.
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