I learn about good communication tools from so many sources. While sitting with my mom waiting to get her new hearing aids adjusted, we ended up chatting with a family-law lawyer who teaches a course for lawyers to communicate better with their clients. Here is a link to her site and an excerpt from her course description:

“It should be reasonably obvious to practitioners that clear and effective communication is critical to the success of the lawyer-client relationship; however, more clients than ever are dealing with aging, disabilities and ESL issues, which increase barriers to clear communication and to a lawyer’s ability to provide accurate advice and representation. The aging baby-boomer population and the increased flow of immigrants in recent years have created a large population of people with special communication needs.”

The other thing Marla mentioned to me was new legislation that ensured businesses enquired if people had special needs when they were purchasing a service or product. Now, that intrigued me. So many people have special needs that are hidden. It might be a hearing deficiency, a mobility issue (hips, knees, etc.), language challenges, sight problems or who knows what else. Knowing about special needs obviously helps us interact better. That prompted me to think about the silent question we should all ask in our heads when we are trying to be good communicators: What special need does this person have?

One of the methods I use in facilitating is called the “Needs and Offers” discussion. What I/we need from you to be effective. What I/we can offer in return to meet your needs. There are definitely times when we need to ask these questions out loud but perhaps if we silently asked ourselves the first question, we might be more focused on connecting versus just spewing out our thought-stream.

What special need do you have? What makes for a good conversation or exchange of ideas for you?
For me, I have a hard time concentrating when someone is overly loud in a public place. Makes me uncomfortable to think everyone is sharing in our conversation. That’s one of my needs — what are yours?

The next post – Communicating at First Sight – will cover off do’s and don’ts for making good impressions the first time we meet people.