Hooking should be used sparingly — obvious hooks can be frustrating for the recipient — but nice, subtle hooks work like a hot damn. Subtle hooks come in many forms. Mentioning an article or study that supports your point of view may prompt a request for more information or proof. Any contention is a bit of a hook. Contentions typically are stated as a fact and need to be substantiated; for example, “We know that supportive housing works to help people who are homeless get off and stay off the streets.” There are two hooks in that contention: the first was the use of the term “supportive housing” (people might wonder what that means) and the second hook is simply that the statement demands some form of proof. Just like when we were kids and somebody would say something obnoxious, like, “Billy is stronger than you!” Oh yeah? Says who?

A flag can have some of the same elements as a hook but focus the listener on your main point. If there is one thing you take away from the technique of flagging, it is to deliver them slowly and with purpose. That was a flag. In print you may need to add emphasis to words by highlighting or italicizing. Here are examples of some other flags:

The main reason I wanted to talk to you is …
People love this idea because …
There are two reasons you will want this …
There is nothing more important to you and your children than …
If I only had one wish it would be …

Occasionally, you can add a hook to the flag. “If I only had one wish it would be to create a communications course for elementary school children who are marginalized, but I have two other wishes I know will make a difference in their lives, forever.” Hooked? Flagged?

I call these techniques “your friends” because they can be a huge support when you are playing high-stakes communications. I rarely ask my real life friends for support but when I do, they know I need it. The same goes for using these communications techniques: only use them when you really need to push your message out and get it noticed.

Next week, I am blogging about stresscom, my moniker for communicating during intense times — stressful moments, good or bad.