As a child who moved a few times, I learned early not to eagerly embrace the first kid in the neighbourhood or class who tried to befriend me. While sometimes they turned out to be a pal, I became a quick study of the ones that would not be my cup of tea. Most people make snap judgments in those first few minutes of introduction, no matter what the circumstance. For some it may be based on physical appearance, but for the majority I expect it has to do more with what is said and facial expressions. If we want to connect and be compelling communicators, we need to work harder at that first moment.

I have a friend who is a great “networker.” She can breezily talk with just about anyone at any type of function and make a good impression. She is bright, articulate and asks great questions. She listens intently and can readily reintroduce people who join in the conversation. I have watched her, as well as others, in action and here are just some of the magical things they do:

-look people in the eye
-pay close attention to the name of the person and quickly ask how they are connected to the event
-stick around long enough to have a conversation and make a connection
-be observant and bring others into to the conversation who are standing nearby
-stay totally focused on the people who are talking and retain what they say
-find ways to connect something to their own life/work and offer up future opportunities to meet/talk or introduce them to someone else
-participate in more than one conversation all night