Number 15 of 52 Compelling Communicators: Susan Cain
April 15, 2013
Susan Cain got to me with her vulnerability.
I first heard the author of Quiet: The
Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking on a radio interview
while driving to work. Radio demands a compelling presence to cut through the
clutter of traffic noise and daydreaming monkey mind distractions. She had a deliberate and soft way
of speaking that made me pay close attention. I heard her speak live last week and got to see her connect with an audience of 1,400. She closed that speech by encouraging everyone to rethink diversity. To broaden the concept of diversity to include personality types. Great idea.
Glib answers or people who are quick to respond can often make the audience feel they are less than genuine. People who choose their words thoughtfully or take a moment to think before answering, command courteous listening. Susan Cain is the classic introvert who learned how to succeed in a world that sees extroverts as the ideal personality for getting ahead.
Glib answers or people who are quick to respond can often make the audience feel they are less than genuine. People who choose their words thoughtfully or take a moment to think before answering, command courteous listening. Susan Cain is the classic introvert who learned how to succeed in a world that sees extroverts as the ideal personality for getting ahead.
As much as her teachings in her book, Quiet have
changed the way I do my workshops, it was her Ted Talk that made me
want to share her wisdom.
You can feel her drive and passion for helping
people understand the angst of introverts so we can create environments that
work for any type of “vert” out there. There are three verts – extroverts,
introverts and ambiverts (Ambiverts being a mixture of the two). She shares a
story of childhood introversion at summer camp that instantly puts you in her
shoes, no matter what personality type you inhabit.
With over 4 million views and some 700+ comments you know she has struck a few chords.
Here are some of the remarks from the site that clearly demonstrate how
well she connected:
"It took me a lifetime to discover the right combination of alone-time and group-think that allows me to be the best that I can be at whatever I do. This talk made me feel not so alone, even when alone-ness is exactly what I crave."
"I love this, for a lifetime I have felt less than because I am an introvert. Now, thanks to Susan Cain, I can begin to appreciate my contemplative self. Someone out there understands."
"It took me a lifetime to discover the right combination of alone-time and group-think that allows me to be the best that I can be at whatever I do. This talk made me feel not so alone, even when alone-ness is exactly what I crave."
"I love this, for a lifetime I have felt less than because I am an introvert. Now, thanks to Susan Cain, I can begin to appreciate my contemplative self. Someone out there understands."
"I
always feel guilty to be an introvert, because i always hear that successful
people are extrovert and it is good to be an extrovert, every thing outside
(Media, University, ...) encourages us to be an extrovert, and for that i
blamed myself for not able to be an extrovert, and since then i negate my core
identity.
but
here, thank a lot to Susan, i feel free of that guilt and i think i do feel
much better accepting what i am instead of becoming another person which i'm
not and the world outside force me to be. Thank you Susan :)"
"As an introverted
college student, this video gives me much needed assurance. That it's okay to
be introverted. For the longest time, I believed that there was something wrong
with me. That I was brought up the "wrong" way or something. Thank
you Susan!"
"This is what I've
been waiting to hear! Thank you! This has helped me realize that the management
at my new job doesn't understand my introversion. Also may be why I struggled
at my previous job. I like the idea of embracing my introversion...I'll work on
that! Also, I'll be ordering your book today as well. :)"
"Thank
you Ms Cain!
You've
solved the biggest problem that confused me for two decades.
Thanks again!"
"As an introvert
myself, this really strikes accord. Being an MBA student I am constantly
challenged by group work with classic type A personalities and public speaking.
I keep coming back to this talk whenever I need that little extra motivation
and a sense that I’m OK."
"I completely agree
with this presentation. Thanks so much for sharing your ideas. I am an
introvert who has always felt that other people wanted to 'fix' me, i.e.. to
cure me of my desire to be on my own at times. I have been a lot happier since
I've become self-employed and now work from home. Bliss! No having to listen to
the inane gossip I had to endure when I worked in an open plan office and that
stopped me from being as productive as I felt I could have been. Now I work
from home, I can achieve so much more and meet with people and share ideas when
I need to. I do not need to be 'fixed' of my introversion, I embrace it!"
"This ran through
my head while watching this clip "Introverts unite! Uhh, I mean go off and
think."
"I find it highly
satisfying that Susan Cain credits C.G. Jung in this discussion. Jung himself
first used "introversion" in a 1910 essay, wondering already at that
date about the implications for creativity. In the immediate years thereafter
he disputed Freud's notion that "introversion of the libido" served
nothing but neurotic aims, and came to hold introversion among the factors that
characterize one's "psychological type." (see e.g.: http://www.cgjungpage.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=819&Itemid=40) So, we have this history, and also
the relatively widespread use today of judgment-free psychological type
assessment tools based on Jung's work (e.g. Meyers-Briggs). Nevertheless in
2010 "introversion" nearly entered the revised Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM) -- being coded as a trait of
(schizotypal) personality disorder. It was thanks to waves of protest from
psychologists of many different schools that the revision committee replaced
"introversion" with "detachment," concluding that,
"the term 'introversion' does not adequately convey the maladaptive
aspects of this domain...." Which is all to note, in what delicate balance
this feature of character hangs.."
"For over fifty
years I’ve been trying to survive, swimming against the currents of extroverted
milieus. Your talk, Susan, was like a rope that is pulling me out! I’m not
changing direction, no! But I’ll walk now, alone, step by step, beside the
river, observing its rapids and the nature around it, the blue sky, listening
to the sounds and silence around, with no hurry to arrive at my final
destination. Thank you!"
Of course, Ms. Cain had her share of detractors but these positive comments seem to form the majority.
Anyone who makes
speeches surely has to agree this topic and the way it was delivered was
compelling.
Susan ends her
speech with the following calls to action – another sign of a great
communicator, the ability to close well (From TED transcript):
1) “End the madness of constant group-work.” (The audience applauds.) Offices need chatty conversations, and great spaces to make serendipitous interactions. But we need much more privacy, and more autonomy. The same is true — more true — for schools. Yes, teach kids to work together, but also how to work alone.
2) “Go to the wilderness, be like Buddha. Have your own revelations.” You don’t have to go build huts in the woods and be isolated, but we could all stand to unplug and be in our heads for a time.
3) “Take a good look at what’s inside your own suitcase, and why you put it there.” Extroverts, whose bags might be filled with Champagne bubbles and sky-diving kits, grace us with the energy and joy of these objects. Introverts probably guard the secrets of their suitcases, and that’s cool.
“But occasionally, just occasionally, I hope you will open the suitcase up.. because the world needs you and what you carry.”
In a sign that she’s right that change is coming, almost the entire auditorium, introvert and extrovert alike rises to give a standing ovation.
Taking
time to understand all the personality types you encounter cannot help but make
you a better communicator. Thanks Susan
for giving us a glimpse inside the introvert.
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