The Millennial Dialogue: Vienna Kerfoot

June 25, 2018



Do you describe yourself as a millennial? What does millennial mean to you?

I’m a millennial in the sense that I was born in the target range, but aside from that, I don’t feel an overt “connection” with the group.

The term millennial is a double-edged sword. The negative connotations such as lazy, entitled, selfish, or a special snowflake weigh heavily. However, the positive perceptions include being highly collaborative, technologically savvy, creative and educated. While there are definitely millennials that fit into both camps, it’s by no means indicative of the overall millennial narrative or what we as a collective value and hold dear. I think that at the heart of it all, we really all want the same things that our parents and all previous generations want; financial security, a place to call home and a better world to raise our own children in. The circumstances of the world we live in may differ greatly from our parents (looking at you, housing prices!), but we are doing the same basic things to achieve our goals.

What are the challenges to good communication between generations? 

The biggest issue would be leaving all your preconceived notions at the door and going into any communications with an open mind. I think no matter which generation you belong to, you need to understand or at least empathize that the world was a different place when your parent or grandparent was your age - or when you were your child’s age. People can be so resistant or reluctant to change so it can cloud their better judgement.

I think if we want to understand each other better, we need to listen first without judgement, and then ask questions when we don’t understand or if we disagree. A willingness to learn and be vulnerable is key as well. My Boomer mom has an iphone and regularly texts me, using emojis and slang like anyone else would. To me, this is proof positive that people can adapt with the times. I don’t think categorizing yourself as “old” is an excuse to not learn something, nor is it a reason why you can’t stay up-to-date with technology - just as being “young” isn’t an excuse to not learn about history or the origin behind something. It’s a two-way street. I think we’d all benefit if we were willing to admit that we’re sometimes wrong, or that just because we’ve always done something a particular way doesn’t mean it’s the best (or even the right) way.


What do you think older generations don't understand about younger generations? What stereotypes do you not like and why?

One of the major stumbling blocks I think is technology and knowledge. Because we don’t have to work as hard to gain the same knowledge older generations did, we can be perceived as “lazy” or having it “easy”. We don’t need encyclopedias when we have Google on our phones. I don’t think that should be looked at as a negative though. We have more information available at our fingertips than ever before, and with it we’re trying to make the world a better place.

How many millennials have been lectured by a Boomer or other who said “When I was your age I already owned a house or a XX”? I can understand how they could perceive us to be slackers if we haven’t “accomplished” the same milestones they had at our age. However, I don’t think the average house cost over $1.2 million when they were my age. It feels like older generations think that we millennials just need to work hard(er), because that’s obviously why we aren’t buying homes or “growing up”. I think the wealth disparity is one of the most dangerously misunderstood factors when it comes to generational misunderstandings.


Where do you get your news? 

I use Google News as an aggregator to see daily headlines in Canada and around the globe. I’ll read about the news item from its origin source, which is usually CBC or BBC.

What communication tools/environments do you find most effective at work and at home? 

Generally speaking, if we’re talking “effective” communication tools, then in-person or over the phone are the best communications methods because it leaves the least room for miscommunication. In terms of “efficient” communication tools though, I’m a sucker for texting/emailing to get the message out quickly.

What are the things organizations do well or could do better to connect with you? 

Instead of reading about data collected about millennials, I think organizations would benefit from actually talking to them. Also, listening to millennial workers within the organization itself for input and collaborating together to find the best approach. 

What is your biggest pet peeve when in a group discussion with many generations? 

Being young means our life experience isn’t worth the same amount as someone who has been alive for 60+ years, and therefore our opinions aren’t as valid or well-thought out. I think just recognizing that every individual brings his or her own unique skill set to the table, and respecting their knowledge and opinions will help things go a long way. That’s not to say that people shouldn’t be challenged on their views, beliefs or thoughts, but that we should all be given the chance to prove ourselves and contribute as a valued member of the group.

I think the most dangerous point of view is the “We’ve always done it like this” character, because it leaves no room for growth or improvement. The main misunderstanding I think stems from the fact that the older generation may feel attacked, or that we view their ways as inferior. This is simply not the case. While we appreciate that they’ve paved the way for certain things, we seek to improve on it, or to question why it was done this way from the get-go. Without innovation, or the willingness to “break some eggs”, we would stop evolving and would miss out on amazing technological breakthroughs such as gene editing or the eradication of disease.

What communications advice has helped you?

I was taught from a very young age that you should make eye contact with people when you speak to them, and to always give a firm handshake. To this day, I’m surprised by how many people avoid eye contact in both social and professional situations. The simple act of looking at the person who you’re speaking to is a powerful tool to effectively communicate and form a connection with the other person.

Do you have good communication skills? And, why or why not?

In terms of getting my ideas across to other people, I’ve always felt like I was effective at delivering the message. Active listening is an important part of good communication as well, and I’ve been told I’m a great listener so I must be doing something right.

I’ve realized in recent years though that I fall a little short when it comes to clearly communicating and expressing my own personal thoughts and feelings - which is something I’m working on!


From a personal perspective

What book have you read recently? What is a favourite TV/Netflix show? 

Most recently read books:
Non-fiction - Poke the Box by Seth Godin
Fiction - Fatherland by Robert Harris

My favourite TV shows right now:
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (thanks Internet for helping to save it!)
Westworld
Archer

Favourite Netflix shows:
Explained
Bill Nye Saves the World
Arrested Development


What do you do for extracurricular activities? 

I’m currently recovering from a motorcycle accident so my life right now consists solely of work and rehab! However in my “normal” life, I enjoyed martial arts, riding my motorcycle, reading and watching TV, bouldering and volunteering.

Up until my accident, I was volunteering with the Writer’s Exchange, an after-school program that gets inner-city kids excited about reading and learning.  


What are the most important social issues to you?

The most important issues to me are accessible education/housing and equal representation in the arts. I think we need to work harder to educate the next generation and to really invest in their learning. This is one of the reasons why I chose to volunteer with the Writer’s Exchange.

As an actress and musician, I’ve also held it near and dear to my heart to petition for equal representation in the arts, especially in North America. There are so many groups that are either misrepresented or underrepresented. From 2015 to 2016 I volunteered as the Marketing Coordinator for the Vancouver Asian Film Festival (VAFF). Founded in 1995, VAFF is dedicated to celebrating the diversity of the Asian culture in both film and media. My hope is that by actively participating and contributing, I can help shape the future of Asians in the arts, and bring forward a new era of inclusivity.  


What technology do you like best for communicating?

Smart phones, for sure. It can do everything from your normal phone call to a video call or even texting and emailing.

How do you feel about the education system?

I wish we had more resources. I wish we could offer free or more subsidized post-secondary education to people. I don’t think money should be the reason why someone decides not to attend university or trade school. I also don’t think graduating with a crippling student debt load is a way to set someone up for a future of success. We need to do better for people.

What is something you want to learn more about?

I’d like to learn more about everything and anything, really. You can never have too much knowledge. Though if I had to choose something right now, I’d say cryptocurrency and video editing.

What bores you?

People who have no desire to see the world/travel or are unwilling to experience new things.

Are there any other thoughts you would like to share about communicating between generations?

Be patient, kind and empathize. We’ll never understand each other if we aren’t willing to listen and break down the barriers. Reserve judgement for after you have all the facts. Most importantly, be sure to think for yourself.

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As Vienna says, looking someone in the eye is an important part of communication. Looking up and engaging via eye contact makes a huge difference in most situations. One of my clients, who was a lab technician, joked that an extrovert in her world was the person looking at your shoes versus their own. Vienna's other advice about talking to millennials you know versus just reading data about them can make a difference. That has been the joy of doing this blog series. I am continually impressed with how articulate and thoughtful each one has been. This woman also walks the talk through her charity work. Impressive.

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