The Millennial Dialogue: Lindsey Kosedy
March 26, 2018
Do you describe yourself as a millennial? What does millennial mean to you?
If I’m being completely honest, I’ve never
really put much thought into the term. I suppose I’d have to say that it has a
rather negative connotation to me because I usually encounter it when people
are complaining about millennials. A description that enters my mind upon
hearing it would be of young, entitled, lazy, anti-social people. (Not that I
agree with that at all.)
What are the challenges to good communication between generations?
I think finding common ground can be a
challenge. Each generation is met with a different stage in life and sometimes
it can be difficult to relate to someone who isn’t currently sharing the same
or similar experiences. From the start, we are placed daily with other people who
are exactly the same age as us. We spend the majority of our childhoods
surrounded by these same, same-aged peers until we are adults whereupon we go
out into the world and have our first real taste of interacting with other
non-family adults of many different generations. I feel like this can further
hinder the chances of real, meaningful communication. Not always, of course,
but I do think it is a barrier for many.
What do you think older generations don't understand about younger generations? What stereotypes do you not like and why?
I think it may be difficult for some to
understand the younger generation’s use of/dependence on technology. It would
be very hard for them to know what it would be like to be born into a world
where you are completely surrounded by and immersed into computers and phones
and social media, etc. It must be a very different lifestyle than what they
were born into. Another topic I’ve found that some from older generations don’t
seem to understand or agree with is the topic of today’s way of parenting.
Relating to the workplace specifically, I’ve found that it is often frowned
upon when parents miss work to care for children who are home sick or for fathers
to take extended parental leave when a new baby is born. I think there is still
a lot of that ‘work comes first’ and ‘child rearing is the mother’s job’ mentality
that many from the younger generation are not all agreeing with. I want to
point out though, I most certainly don’t lump all people from any specific
generation into any of these observations I’ve made. They are just some ways of
thinking I’ve encountered on more than a couple of occasions.
The main stereotype that bothers me is that
people from my generation are entitled and we, in turn, are raising entitled
children. I think there are certainly people who fit that description in this
world but I hardly think they are specific to my generation nor do I believe it
is a fair or accurate description of my generation or how my children’s
generation will be. For anyone from an older generation to pass that judgment
onto someone younger would have to be a reflection of their generation’s
parenting at least in part, no? It just seems like utter nonsense and I would
think it leaves no room in their minds to observe and appreciate how much the
younger generations have contributed and continue to contribute to our world.
It also builds a wall between the generations preventing real communication and
passing of knowledge experience from older to younger and new knowledge and
ways of thinking from younger to older. No one benefits from the negativity and
everyone could benefit from open mindedness, acceptance and understanding.
Where do you get your news?
My main news source would have to be
Facebook. We don’t have cable television nor do we subscribe to any newspapers.
What communication tools/environments do you find most effective at work and at home?
My personal preference in the workplace is email/internet
because I am introverted and shy and conversation face to face or via a more
personal approach doesn’t come easily or comfortably for me. Emails, texting,
social media all provide me with a way to communicate without nervousness
clouding my ability to think clearly. I am able to express myself more clearly
and thoroughly. Having said that, I think a more personal approach is very
beneficial and necessary to build stronger work relationships between coworkers
and customers/clients. I think a good balance of both approaches is most
effective in the workplace. At home, however, face to face is definitely most
effective. The personal approach is what forms and maintains strong family
bonds. FaceTime and texting most definitely makes things easier for families to
go about the daily hustle and bustle but, at the end of the day, the face to
face conversations and physical closeness is what keeps a family together and a
home happy.
What are the things organizations do well or could do better when it comes to communicating with you?
For people who are not social butterflies
and prefer to stay home most of the time, while it may seem like a mild
invasion and be uncomfortable, coming directly to the home is a great way to
reach out to them. They might otherwise never hear from the organizations.
What is your biggest pet peeve in a group discussion/meeting with many generations?
I can’t think of any, to be honest. I really
dislike when people interrupt and talk over other people but I don’t find that
to be specific to one generation.
What communications advice has helped you?
The best advice I’ve been given is to take
the time to think before speaking. It is fitting to any type of conversation.
Do you think you have good communication skills? And, why or why not?
In person, I don’t think I have the
strongest communication skills. As previously mentioned, conversation doesn’t
always come easily to me. With people I am comfortable with, such as close
family and friends, I am fine. With strangers and even distant friends and
family, I wind up feeling anxious and I feel like it creates a barrier to
better communication. Communicating via text, email, social media, however, I
think I have fairly strong communication skills. There is always room to learn
and grow, of course, but I am happy with where I stand in that regard.
From a personal perspective
What book have you read recently? What is a favourite TV/Netflix show?
Oh goodness, does Dr. Seuss count?! I think
the last adult piece of literature I read was a few months ago – something by
Leah Dunham, I believe. Parenting and crafting have taken priority this past
year. My favourite Netflix series are tied for Shameless, Life In Pieces,
Schitt’s Creek and Grace and Frankie. My preference is for comedy.
What do you for extracurricular activities?
I take my boys to story time at our local
library once a week and occasionally we go to kids’ music time at our local
nursing home. (It sounds like it is just for the kids but it is also for me.
It’s a great way to get out amongst people because, though I am very
introverted, sometimes I do get cabin fever and just need to get out. It also
is very low stress because the focus is on the kids rather than the adults and
I don’t have to converse and make endless small chat if I don’t feel
comfortable with it.) I intend to take up something, perhaps piano or wood
working lessons, once my children are a bit older and have less dependence on
me. For now, my activities outside of our home are fairly limited.
Who do you admire for the way they live their life?
My dear friend, Cimarron (my husband’s
cousin), is a very admirable woman. She knows how she wants to live her life
and she doesn’t let others’ opinions change the way she does things. She is
kind, considerate, honest and humble. She inspires me to always try to think
positively and to stay true to who I am. She is truly a wonderful person.
What are the most important social issues to you?
I find that animal treatment is very often
on my mind. I made dietary changes several years ago after the movie, Food
Inc., was played for my class in college. It is an issue I would like to
confront. I find, however, that hearing/reading/watching anything about animal
abuse of any kind brings upon a depression of sorts that I have a very hard
time shaking. Having young children, I can’t be in that state of mind because I
firmly believe that children are excellent at sensing and feeling the emotions
of their closest loved ones so I will wait until they are older and able to
understand what is happening and why before I delve into that. Local poverty is
another issue that I feel strongly about. We live in a small community and
there are still so many people in need. I have no issue at all with proving
support to people in need who are not local but I do believe that we can’t
forget about those near to us.
What technology do you like best for communicating?
I prefer my phone. I can text, email, use
social media, call and FaceTime. It isn’t always the easiest to use because of
its size and lack of full keyboard but it is extremely portable and
lightweight.
How do you feel about the education system?
This is probably going to be too long to
make the cut. I will try to keep it short but I’m a bit opinionated about this. *
*Note from Della: This is long so feel free to skip to the next question but Linsey makes some interesting points about the current system and home schooling. I also remember how odd I thought it was you had to raise your hand to go to the washroom, so I relate!
I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the education system. I am going
to start by saying that I don’t think the education system is the worst thing in
the world. I think it is extremely important and I hate to think of a world
without it. I do, however, think it is flawed in many ways.
I don’t believe
placing children in same age groups for all of their adolescence and forcing
them to learn/memorize age specific materials in a specified amount of time, in
a specified way is the optimal way to teach them and prepare them for their
futures. There is not enough credit given to the mental, emotional, physical
and educational benefits of free play and outdoor free time. So much of what is
practiced in schools does not actually relate to the way things are done in the
real world. If I send my children to school, they must ask permission to use
the washroom or get a drink of water. The may not speak out of turn but only
when they have raised their hand and have been selected by the adult in the
room and only if there is enough time to allow their input. They must speak
even when they are scared or unsure and this may very well lead to humiliation
and anxiety.
They have to sit and learn materials that may be too difficult for
them or that simply are of no interest at that point in their lives and they
are pressured to do as well as or better than the other 20-30 children in the
room with them. They can only go outside for short intervals at specified times
of the day and must return promptly to their classrooms when the bell rings
even though their outdoor, imagination led activities are likely not nearly
complete. Should they act out in any way, it is very likely their outside time
will be taken away as a punishment.
Then, at the end of the day, they return
home only to do more school work, eat, maybe play for a short while and then go
to bed so they are not too tired to rise early and do it all again. For 18 years.
After all that, they must choose what it is they want to do with their lives
and move onto post secondary education (which I like more, at least in small
college settings since the students finally have some say in what they are
learning but, oh, the cost of it! I will only go into primary education for
this question though).
If I educate my children at home, they are free to use
the washroom or drink water when they are thirsty, as they should be. They help
make meals and help clean up after those meals (even my 1 ½ year old has
stirred cookie batter and ‘washed’ dishes alongside his big brother).
They are
free to ask any questions at almost any time about whatever topic is on their
mind. Learning what interests them helps that knowledge stick. They don’t have
to feel insecure or embarrassed or scared to ask questions or say they don’t
understand. We can stop and repeat things as many times as needed to help them
understand.
There is no rush to make a time deadline nor are there several more
children to tend to before that deadline. We can take our time and try
different things and we can stop and let it rest for a while and pick it back
up later when their minds have had some time to think on it and rest a bit. If
they are interested in letters, we can work on that and they will enjoy it
because it is what they want to learn. If they don’t want to learn letters,
they feel too overwhelmed by them, we don’t have to just yet. We can do some
science experiments or do numbers or just go outside or do science experiments
and numbers while outside.
We are free to customize their education to their
learning interests and styles. So what if they don’t read when they are 6? It
doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of it. It means they aren’t ready yet. Forcing
it may work but it also may make them hate it. And what a shame that would be.
When it is time to get groceries or check the mail, they will come along. They
will communicate with people of all different ages (which makes much more sense
than being surrounded by same aged peers all day long since at no other time in
our lives do we actually live that way) and take part in the processes. Even
young children can learn to make transactions with very little help at the
grocery store or restaurants. They get to know the people they see out and
about in our community. Sayer has been able to go into the sorting room at the
post office and find our parcels. He has been allowed behind the counter at the
hardware store to pack up my items. If I send them to school, they will miss
out on these incredible experiences. Small as they may seem, they are a part of
real life and they give children actual insight into what adult life is like in
the grown-up world.
There are so many benefits to keeping them away from the
traditional education system. I do realize that not every parent has the desire
or freedom to home educate their children and not all of the benefits are
feasible to adopt in a school setting.
I think there are changes that need to
be made to make the education system work better for children. However, we live
in a modern society and the education system is vital for many children who
would otherwise not have access to the education required to live the
lifestyles we lead. For all its flaws (flaws according to my opinion), it is
still a great asset to our society and, believe it or not, despite everything I
just wrote, we are very fortunate to have access to it.
What is something you want to learn more about?
I would love to learn more about wood
working and tool safety. I create hand made décor and the odd piece of
furniture and everything I’ve learned has been self taught with the help of the
internet. I think I could learn so much more and be greater at what I do by learning
directly from someone with years of experience.
What bores you?
Politics. Money talk. My husband says I have
a ‘look’ whenever anything regarding numbers is mentioned. My mind is just too
busy swimming with the ongoing list of things that need to be done at home and
with the kids and with creative ideas for my building and crafting. I can’t
seem to turn on an interest button for politics or money talk.
Where do you volunteer your time and money?
I haven’t currently volunteered my time yet
at our local Oasis Family Centre – a centre for people to come together and
learn traditional Aboriginal teachings, learn basic life skills such as cooking
and sewing, and to take part in many other beneficial programs – but it is
where we donate all of our belongings we no longer need. Everything from
clothing to kitchen items to toys goes there and it is given to those who have
less than we do. I have been building a friendship with the president of the
centre and I think it will be leading to some volunteer time there teaching
woodworking and painting in the near future. We also donate to several medical
charities and to random local fundraisers when they arise.
What makes you laugh?
Mostly, my children. They are goofy and
brilliant and full of surprises. If anyone ever needs a laugh, I highly
recommend hanging out with a toddler for a while!
Are there any other thoughts you would like to share about communicating between generations?
I think we all need to try to be sensitive
and aware of the generational differences and approach them with open minds and
positive outlooks. If we all just agreed on everything all the time, no ideas
would ever be challenged and we would fail to find a better way far too often.
_____
First, a disclaimer here - Lindsey is family. She is married to my nephew, Preston Kosedy. The Kosedy clan (and there are lots of them) came into the world via my fabulous sister-in-law, Bonnie. They all hold a special place in my heart. As Lindsey noted, her comments on the education system were long and should probably have been edited. However, this blog is a place for people to share their views and her passion on this topic is obvious. Her comments about people mostly being around others their age until the age of 18 had not dawned on me before. As the youngest in a family of four children, I was continually exposed to my sibling's friends. I learned a lot about listening and communicating so they would not ditch me. Plus, they talked about things that were way more interesting than my peers. It was a huge part of my education. Appreciate the way you look at the world, Lindsey!
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