Dining with Della: Ruth Atherley over Skype
April 25, 2016
What worked...
What one bit of communication impacted your life?
There are many small bits of information, advice and wisdom I have gathered and used over the years. What stands out for me are two that kind of go together... the first bit of advice came from my parents - they didn't tell me how to live with integrity and to be kind, they showed me. It is who they were and their actions reflected this. All my life, I have had people tell me how amazing my parents are/were (my mom passed away a very long time ago) - how kind and how trustworthy they are/were. Even when I was a little kid, a client of my dad's stopped by our house and I remember him pulling me aside and telling me my dad was the best man he knew.. the always did the right thing, even when no one was watching and that resonated with me.
(Note from Della: Ruth did a TEDx talk about this childhood story)
And, when I became a communications professional that stuck with me... and in working in the area of issues and crisis communication, it really hit home. Many issues I have worked on were because someone didn't do the right thing. Those issues escalated into something much bigger and caused harm in one way or another.
The other key element I believe is crucial, is context. As a human being and as a communicator, you have to be aware not only of the context of what and why someone says what they do, but how the person or people listening are going to take in what is being communicated. I think lack of context is why there are so many social media fails when it comes to PR and marketing campaigns. What seems brilliant in the brainstorming session lands with a thud out there on the Internet because it wasn't viewed from a range of different perspectives.
I travel quite a bit - both for work and for fun. I was on a trip with a not-for-profit client recently in Cameroon, Africa and we made dinner for the children of a small orphanage. We made spaghetti and tomato sauce (filled with veggies so we could sneak them in for the kids) as well as roast chicken. These kids don't get protein very often - maybe once a month. I watched a young boy who had pushed his piece of chicken to the side of his plate. He devoured the spaghetti - so I knew he was hungry. I asked him if he liked chicken and he said "YES!! I love it. I am saving it for last. I want to take my time and truly taste it." At that moment, my heart was forever changed. And, I thought about context. In my life in Vancouver, Canada, if I stopped off at the grocery store and picked up a rotisserie chicken for dinner... it would be a quick, easy meal. For this young boy in Buea, Cameroon - it was something special. In context, chicken meant something very different to each of us. It means so much more to me now. I will never again take the abundance of food that we have daily access to for granted.
(Note from Della: Ruth did a TEDx talk about this childhood story)
And, when I became a communications professional that stuck with me... and in working in the area of issues and crisis communication, it really hit home. Many issues I have worked on were because someone didn't do the right thing. Those issues escalated into something much bigger and caused harm in one way or another.
The other key element I believe is crucial, is context. As a human being and as a communicator, you have to be aware not only of the context of what and why someone says what they do, but how the person or people listening are going to take in what is being communicated. I think lack of context is why there are so many social media fails when it comes to PR and marketing campaigns. What seems brilliant in the brainstorming session lands with a thud out there on the Internet because it wasn't viewed from a range of different perspectives.
I travel quite a bit - both for work and for fun. I was on a trip with a not-for-profit client recently in Cameroon, Africa and we made dinner for the children of a small orphanage. We made spaghetti and tomato sauce (filled with veggies so we could sneak them in for the kids) as well as roast chicken. These kids don't get protein very often - maybe once a month. I watched a young boy who had pushed his piece of chicken to the side of his plate. He devoured the spaghetti - so I knew he was hungry. I asked him if he liked chicken and he said "YES!! I love it. I am saving it for last. I want to take my time and truly taste it." At that moment, my heart was forever changed. And, I thought about context. In my life in Vancouver, Canada, if I stopped off at the grocery store and picked up a rotisserie chicken for dinner... it would be a quick, easy meal. For this young boy in Buea, Cameroon - it was something special. In context, chicken meant something very different to each of us. It means so much more to me now. I will never again take the abundance of food that we have daily access to for granted.
Context is everything - especially in our social networked world, it is so important to understand the perspective of the person or group you want to communicate with...it is the difference between success and #epic fail.
What did not work...
I think the biggest thing I have done - that didn't quite work as planned - was something that I did with you when you had Quay. It was our Bridging Two Worlds - social media partnership. We did that about 13 years ago and we were ahead of the curve on social. I remember speaking to a client about doing a blog and he looked at me like I was speaking in gibberish. 13 years ago, many people didn't realize how big social media networking and the online world would become in our lives - and there were struggles to get buy-in from clients. I don't regret a moment of it. I think, in hindsight, we were five years too early in launching that partnership and yet hard to say it didn't work, when you and I are both pretty knowledgeable about social media and its role in communications.
(Note from Della: Ruth is right, our Bridging Two Worlds division was way too early for most. Ruth and I did some wild sessions in those days including a live demonstration of how technology and social media were changing our world. She was in New Zealand and I was in Vancouver. We actually trusted it would work. It did, with a few minor hiccups but I don't know if I would even consider doing it today.)
(Note from Della: Ruth is right, our Bridging Two Worlds division was way too early for most. Ruth and I did some wild sessions in those days including a live demonstration of how technology and social media were changing our world. She was in New Zealand and I was in Vancouver. We actually trusted it would work. It did, with a few minor hiccups but I don't know if I would even consider doing it today.)
What if...
What advice would you give to your younger self to enhance your ability to communicate with others – and why?
There are so many things I would tell my younger self... holy doodle. However, there is one thing in particular that came out of an interview I did when I was a reporter with singer/songwriter Jimmy Buffett. He and I got along quite well - I am a big fan and knew a bunch of random, obscure things about his career which, I think, kind of amazed him. He had gone through a long day of interviews and I was the last one. I expect my knowing quite a bit about him, his songs and his fans - who are called Parrot Heads - beyond his hit song Margaritaville - might have been what he needed after answering the same questions all day. He and I got to talking about the art of storytelling. He told me his best inspiration and life lessons and just great interactions with people didn't come from connecting with the most famous, successful or important people but from talking to the people life has beat down, the people who have experienced hardship and heartache, sorrow and failure. He told me I would find life to be fuller, more incredible, more heartwarming and inspirational if I went out of my way to speak to the person sitting alone on a park bench, at the back of a pub nursing a beer or staring out the window at a cafe... these are the people who have a story to tell, who will tell you about life and give you words of wisdom that matter. I think I would tell my younger self to seek those people out more, to actively go to find them, to listen to their stories and to see life through their eyes.
Ruth is one of those people who focuses on the positive. I marvel at her inspirational Facebook posts. She is always finding great articles that make you think. She constantly works at keeping good thoughts front and centre. From starting her day in her meditation room to posting in her gratitude journal, she even has affirmations on her shower walls.
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