Dining with Della: Rosalyn Cronin at West
April 11, 2016
My sister, Rosalyn Cronin, comes to town twice a year for a visit. We took advantage of her Spring trip to do this blog interview. We lunched at the elegant West restaurant in South Granville. Seated at a back booth, by the open kitchen we enjoyed octopus chorizo risotto (moi) and a free range omelette (Rose) along with a crisp, light Italian Pinot Grigio. Their sleek, white etched stone tabletops are cool to the touch and a better look than any linen tablecloth. One of best spots in town.
She was happy to be in Vancouver enjoying 20 degree weather, away from her home province of Ontario currently experiencing an April snowstorm.
My sis has one of those extraordinary left/right merged brains that enable her to be a sought after accountant and financial whiz while also having the ability to write. She has authored three books, The Healthy Business: Shape up to Survive and Thrive, The Healthy Business for Network Marketers: Sell and Excel and an eBook on Kobo titled 15 Minutes to a Better Business. Rose is also on the fifth rewrite of her sci-fi novel.
On any given weekend you will find her attending writing sanctuaries or golfing and holidaying with her husband, John. However, no matter what either of us are doing, we make a point of chatting on Sunday afternoons. Our talks can stretch upwards of three hours. We share challenges, laugh a lot and advise each other with our personal and professional lives.
What worked...
What one bit of communication impacted your life?
The comment from Rose's therapist, Pam "It is not about what people have said, it is about what you make it mean", inspires her to listen to words carefully and thoughtfully. As Rose notes, we interpret words through our own experiences, biases, fears and insecurities. Think how often someone makes a comment and we take it to heart. All sorts of things race through our minds and the person never meant anything by it. Later in our visit, Rose would talk about how email or voicemail messages would have caused her undo angst in the past and how she now she addresses the commentary right away. So often the actual meaning is vastly different from our first assumption.
(Note from Della: Rose and I often discuss conversations we have with others and bring quite different perspectives to the intent of comments or how our own biases impact the meaning. I am so fortunate to have her in my life.)
(Note from Della: Rose and I often discuss conversations we have with others and bring quite different perspectives to the intent of comments or how our own biases impact the meaning. I am so fortunate to have her in my life.)
What did not work...
Rose felt her answer to this question was a little more convoluted. It relates to her hobby horse that the early feminist movement of the 60s did not work. The concept that we could have it all did not pan out. She remembers thinking women could win by playing by men's rules. And, she felt she did win using their competitive language and approach. However, the price was high as she denied a certain part of her feminine side, which would have given her much more joy.
(Note from Della: I asked her to share a story or two to illustrate her experiences)
Rose recalled her 1960's era UBC debate class. She was a commerce student when it was an all male world and she was the only woman in the group with a highly competitive bunch. As she approached the door to the class, she held it open for one of the men. He insisted she go through first, she pushed back, "No, no, after you..." Back and forth they went until he finally took her hand off the handle and pushed her through the doorway. It was a ridiculously competitive mindset.
She compares that interaction to more recent experience, spending hours helping a friend format her book. The joy of helping others is what makes a difference for her now. While she is a savvy business owner and knows ROI better than most, she recognizes the huge personal return that comes from giving and helping others. When Rose heard Margaret Trudeau speak about her charitable foundation, WaterAid, the key takeaway was how women still laughed together as they walked miles to get fresh water. No matter what, they find ways to enjoy their lives and work together.
Rose is all about finding the joy in life's offerings.
What if...
What advice would you give to your younger self to enhance your ability to communicate with others – and why?
Don't be afraid to not know. Rose said she spent way too much of her life trying to look like she knew what she was doing. It meant she would not always ask the right questions and rarely ask for help.
She once made a mistake on a client file that could have potentially cost her a lot of money. Her style is to pay the penalties if the client work is incorrect. She was devastated and highly stressed. The impact would have been extensive for her in those days. She went home that night and told her husband, as hard as it was to admit her error. He just looked at her and said, "Thank God you are human. What is the big deal?" What was big for her was to actually admit she was wrong. Because of pressure to be perfect and right, she feels she did herself out of a lot of joy.
So her final advice to young Rose would be to forget trying to be right all the time and go for the joy!
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1 comments
I always remember Rose from her time in Vancouver, even though I have not seen her in a very long time. I have very fond memories of our times and interactions together. Next time you come out to Vancouver, Rose, please let's have a visit! Sonja
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