Number 34 of 52 Lifelong Communication Lessons: The Big Chill
August 24, 2015 |
| Patty Hearst as "Tania" the SLA urban guerilla. |
The year was 1975.
The FBI captures Patty Hearst. Saigon is surrendered, marking the end of the Vietnam War. The British Conservative Party chooses it's first female leader, Margaret Thatcher. Locally, the last movie is shown at the Orpheum Theatre - they ran Return to Macon County.
This is the year I got married. A majority of our friends at the time also got married or were in common law relationships. We were a tight knit group. Most of the guys were childhood friends from Saskatchewan who made the move west. They worked in construction and made plenty of cash. Times were good. There were lots of parties and memorable moments. We always celebrated the arrival of children, the purchase of homes and special birthdays.
Over the years, the get togethers were less frequent but no less enjoyable. Old tales got embellished and new stories created. The one time we all made an extra effort to have a party was when Yaho came to town. Doug Yahoninsky was his full name but everyone knew him as Yaho. Doug originally came out to Vancouver with the rest of the crew but ended up back in Saskatchewan. He married a few times prompting trips back home or to Vegas (once) for more parties. At one point, he was in a terrible train accident and lost both legs. That did not slow down our "dougie", he continued on with his wild ways. He drove a souped up old car and travelled extensively with car clubs.
He had a few bouts of cancer and always pulled out of it. When we got word he was nearing his end, we all went back to the prairies for one more big party. It was like we were in our 20's again. Not all of us made it back for the funeral but that was okay, we had our time with him while he was alive.
What amazes me in the 40 years this group has met up infrequently, is the fact it is always super easy and relaxed. Our history allows for no pretense. There have been a few tiffs but somehow they dissipate before the next gathering. Now we get together at the kids weddings and celebrate the arrival of grandchildren. As with Yaho, if someone gets seriously ill, we connect immediately.
Communication among these pals has taught me much about the importance of shared values. We know what is important to each other and don't worry about the granular stuff that might irritate us if we saw each other on a more frequent basis. We cherish our limited time and focus on shared joy or sorrow.
I feel so fortunate to have these people in my life.
Communication Lessons:
- Value the friendships at every stage of your life.
- The people who are always there for you through thick and thin are the most important.
- Cherish those safe places where you can communicate honestly and freely without judgement.
Fast Forward to 2015:
Wouldn't it be interesting to know if our political leaders (those currently running federally) had a big chill gang and what those friends would say about them?
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