Number 32 of 52 Lifelong Communication Lessons: The in-crowd
August 10, 2015 |
| Janis Joplin at Woodstock |
The year was 1969.
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon and more than 350,000 music fans attend Woodstock. Charles Manson's cult, "The Family", murders seven people including actress Sharon Tate. Locally, freelance art director Frank Palmer forms a new company called Trend Advertising. Hmmm.... I wonder what ever happened to him?
That year I moved to a new high school. It was easy to assess the "in-crowd" girls. They looked great sporting the latest fashions, knew how to apply makeup and seemingly had it all together. Most other kids were suffering through hormonal teenage awkwardness... something the in-crowd loved to highlight and ridicule.
I fell somewhere in between the two. I subscribed to "the best defense is a great offense" strategy. I was new to the school so I had no major baggage. I had a bit of a reputation and attitude leaving the popular kids leery of me. I also dated older guys (a whopping 18) and had a best buddy who was scrappy and did not take any crap from anybody. Good to have tough friends in those days.
For the most part, the popular gang ignored me and I ignored them. It was a perfect snubbing relationship. That was until a unique moment in math class when I let my guard down. I was seated amongst five of the in-crowders...male and female. It was assigned seating so I had no choice but to sit in their midst. I guess I was so accustomed to being under the radar, I felt invisible. I was horribly bored and had drifted off into a fabulous daydream. In the process, I had strangely wrapped my arm over my head, rested half my upper body on my desk and had intertwined my legs to look like a complete pretzel. It was quite the contortion. I awoke from my daytime slumber to see the kingpin boy pointing at me and the others laughing out loud. Super awkward moment for this slightly edgy tough girl to look like such a geek. I straightened up and glared at them until they turned away. Inside I was cringing.
I had forgotten the first rule of cool...don't let them catch you unaware. Ugh. I overcompensated for weeks afterward. Stood defiantly by their reserved schoolyard zone, smoking cigarettes and staring them down.
As most of us know now, those kids in high school often peaked in their teens and did not survive well outside the classroom walls. It was hard to imagine at the time. I ran into a few of the finger pointing five later in life. They were a pretty unhappy group once their teen stardom had faded.
That little incident made me super self aware ever after. Today, I see people in meetings or out in public totally unaware of how they appear to others. Sometimes I think it is delightful and other times I get red faced for them.
Even at my most bored, I try to focus on being present. Just to avoid pretzel-like moments.
Communication Lessons:
- You are never invisible. Your body language speaks volumes even if you don't say a word.
- People who ridicule others usually don't do well.
- When surrounded by enemies, keep on your toes.
Fast Forward to 2015:
Think of Walter Palmer who killed Cecil the lion. I wonder if he was a high school superstar.
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