You can still use the “unload” in everyday conversations with general comments such as, “That is not the information I have. What I understand is …” However, there are times when the loaded question requires detailed retorts. Making sure you understand the question fully is the first step here. Go back over each point to make sure you have clarity and agreement from the person asking the question. This can be disarming in itself if done calmly and with the right intent.

When someone asks a loaded question, inevitably there is an agenda to prove you wrong or, at minimum, coax you to their point of view. Just get into the subject of religion over a cocktail to see the loaded questions abound. The key, once again, is to listen and respond versus react. You must also have an exit plan.

I have analyzed media interviews that were laden with loaded questions and cringed as the person did not know how to get out gracefully and went down with the ship. Often getting out would have been as simple as saying, “You raise some interesting points. Let me take this back to our committee so we can consider what you have said.” The number of times I saw organizations backtrack on their staunch opinions would make your head spin. Enough heat from the media and public and even the most stalwart in their opinions can start to see another point of view.

So, when you experience the loaded questions in your everyday life and after you have made every effort to listen, respond and perhaps even change an opinion or two, there comes a time when you must just get out of the banter. “You raise lots of perspectives here and I believe we have exhausted our respective points of view. I will reflect on what you have said and take it into consideration and get back to you if I have a change of opinion.” You might even have a change of opinion when you relay this conversation back to others and get more feedback. If you don’t, that’s fine too. At least you ended the exchange on the high ground. Having taken the low ground myself, on occasion, I highly recommend this approach.

That wraps up our series of questions types. Please impart any other question styles you have experienced.

Next week we are on to a totally different communications topic — Figures of Speech: The Promise and the Peril.