Dining with Della: Audrey Allen at Giardino
July 25, 2016
Audrey (Audy) Allen, extraordinary mother, grandmother and true friend. Audy and I met in the advertising biz in 1987. She managed large events and promotional campaigns with ease and flair. She never concerned herself too much with budgets and no one ever complained when she overspent. She extends her creative talents to the home front as well. Having attended gala events at her house, I witnessed her ability to celebrate special occasions and make them more than memorable. One of the best, was the engagement event for her daughter Nancy and financé Mike. Mike had proposed in Paris so Audy decorated their home with red and white striped awnings (on the inside!) like a bistro on the Champs-Élysées complete with an Eiffel Tower ice sculpture. Stunning.
After her family, Audy highly values her special female friendships. I had the honour of doing a tribute at her 60th birthday and the sole focus was how she is a great friend.
Honesty and candour with those closest make for an extremely real relationship. She will call you on your "stuff" and it never feels judgemental. And, she always has your back. She also knows what to do during tough times. Audy is the first person at the hospital when something goes wrong and the first to make you laugh or hold your hand - whichever you need most.
We had dinner at Giardino, the updated Umberto Menghi restaurant. Over our favourite red wine, chicken liver and fabulous pasta with fresh peas, we happily whiled away the evening. After catching up on our lives, we ended the night with this blog interview and a chocolate martini. Taxi!
What one bit of communication impacted your life?
Audy's mom had a huge influence on her life. A single mom in an era where divorce was not so common, she was a tower of strength for her three children. Her consistent advice was, "Be courageous". That message encompassed everything for Audy. It meant don't be a coward, stand up for what you believe in, don't be unkind or back down and do the right thing.
(Note from Della: I had the pleasure of meeting her mom, Mrs. Carter at an advanced age. Her strength and presence was still obvious. A straight forward, no nonsense kind of woman who left a legacy of incredible fortitude and unwavering love.)
What did not work...
Audy's first response to this question was her missed opportunity to invest in something called Poke a Hole, a idea about a gizmo designed to fill the hole in a flat tire. She saw it advertised on TV a few weeks ago.
Her second response was more serious and heartfelt. She emphatically said she would cut off her right arm to have five more minutes with her mom. While her mom lived a long and mostly healthy life, she died after a horrible stroke which left her unable to speak or swallow. Mrs. Carter knew she was dearly loved but Audy felt she missed the opportunity to say how much she valued the sage advice and guidance. Audy's mom was not one for lots of explanation or long dissertations. Advice such as being courageous was clear enough, no need for more details. Audy sincerely wishes she had said more to her in those last few days.
(Note from Della: I expect Mrs. Carter could clearly see how her advice was heeded over the years but that does not change how Audy feels. Lesson to us all... always say what is in your heart, don't have regrets.)
What if...
What advice would you give to your younger self to enhance your ability to communicate with others – and why?
Audy confessed to not being as courageous as others might see her. She comes across as ultra confident and direct. However, she often does not share how she really feels and would advise her younger self to be more candid... she saves the real, authentic Audrey for those in her closest inner circle.
(Note from Della: I am privileged (I think) to be one of those who is friends with the Authentic Audrey. It makes for a highly valued friendship, complete with insights that make you sit up and take note. I ended the speech at her 60th with a quote from Winnie the Pooh, "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." Here's hoping that is how we wrap up this amazing friendship.)
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