Dining with Della: Jennifer Davies at Glowbal
June 06, 2016
I am continually learning about introversion. Finding ways for introverts to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and opinions in our workshops is an ongoing process. They are often, like Jennifer, super smart with lots of valuable input. You just need to create a safe space for them to express their ideas.
We had lunch at the popular downtown Glowbal restaurant. They have the best apple salad ever and are quick to change up any ingredient you desire. Nixing the blue cheese or pumpkin seeds is not a problem.
Like most introverts Jen was comfortable in our one to one conversation. I felt like we could have talked all afternoon. She is engaging, funny and, while doing this blog was a bit out of her comfort zone, she aced it.
What one bit of communication impacted your life?
Being curious was the pivotal message from her extrovert CEO friend. The busy, successful CEO always found time to meet with people. Every interaction was seen as a learning experience. Everyone was a teacher.
For shy Jen, it is hard to get out and mix with people. In her business, it is pretty much mandatory to be out and about a few times a week. At the end of those long socially intense days, she just wants to be home on her sofa, reading a book.
She has taken her friend's lead and even if tired, she makes the effort to connect. She knows there will always be something to get out of her interactions.
Jennifer has spent a lot of her comms career around people who want to be the loudest voice in the room. She takes the curious approach with clients, feeling you get more by asking questions and learning about their needs. Her curious business approach is intertwined with her personal life. She finds there is always some relatable take away. She expresses this as ways to tap into our common humanity, knowing there is something to learn from each interaction.
Around 30 years of age, she received another bit of advice she now finds herself repeating to others - "Don't be in such a rush to get it all done". Don't hurry your career or your place in it. It will come and it may not be straightforward. Jen has certainly witnessed that. For a highly driven young woman in the cutthroat consulting world, this was exactly the advice she needed to enjoy her path. She needed to step back, observe and experience it all. She said it hurt her feelings when the advice was first given but her source had the wisdom and courage to share and then let it marinate.
For shy Jen, it is hard to get out and mix with people. In her business, it is pretty much mandatory to be out and about a few times a week. At the end of those long socially intense days, she just wants to be home on her sofa, reading a book.
She has taken her friend's lead and even if tired, she makes the effort to connect. She knows there will always be something to get out of her interactions.
Jennifer has spent a lot of her comms career around people who want to be the loudest voice in the room. She takes the curious approach with clients, feeling you get more by asking questions and learning about their needs. Her curious business approach is intertwined with her personal life. She finds there is always some relatable take away. She expresses this as ways to tap into our common humanity, knowing there is something to learn from each interaction.
Around 30 years of age, she received another bit of advice she now finds herself repeating to others - "Don't be in such a rush to get it all done". Don't hurry your career or your place in it. It will come and it may not be straightforward. Jen has certainly witnessed that. For a highly driven young woman in the cutthroat consulting world, this was exactly the advice she needed to enjoy her path. She needed to step back, observe and experience it all. She said it hurt her feelings when the advice was first given but her source had the wisdom and courage to share and then let it marinate.
What did not work...
While Jennifer did not have a specific example to share on this question, (for obvious reasons) she was adamant about not subscribing to spin. She talks about the calls that come in where someone is looking for quick solutions.
After 20 years in this biz she knows that spin might work in the short term but nothing truly is gained. You lose trust and long term credibility.
The same applies to messaging, if you can't tell the truth, don't ask her for help.
She was also upfront about past moments where she tended to blurt out comments that came across as harsh and negative. She knows she is more of a lover than a fighter and now slows herself down so she can be more positive. Brightening someone else's day is something she strives to bring into her day to day life.
(Note from Della: I know she brightened my day when we met about this blog - she asked if anyone interviewed me or asked me about my thoughts. When I responded in the negative, she quickly offered to do my final blog of the year by interviewing me. Delightful!)
After 20 years in this biz she knows that spin might work in the short term but nothing truly is gained. You lose trust and long term credibility.
The same applies to messaging, if you can't tell the truth, don't ask her for help.
She was also upfront about past moments where she tended to blurt out comments that came across as harsh and negative. She knows she is more of a lover than a fighter and now slows herself down so she can be more positive. Brightening someone else's day is something she strives to bring into her day to day life.
(Note from Della: I know she brightened my day when we met about this blog - she asked if anyone interviewed me or asked me about my thoughts. When I responded in the negative, she quickly offered to do my final blog of the year by interviewing me. Delightful!)
What if...
What advice would you give to your younger self to enhance your ability to communicate with others – and why?
Jennifer has recently embraced the "Quiet" revolution. The term and concept coined by author, Susan Cain. This is a movement to make the world more workable for introverts. Rather than overcompensating for her introversion for so long and coming across overly confident and blustery, she would give herself permission to be the true Jen.
(Note from Della: I have to admit I have seen the over confident side of this woman and she is quite likeable too. However, now that I know how that was making her feel, I am glad she can be her truer self today.)
Like most introverts, speaking in front of a crowd can be paralyzingly. Jennifer had a fairly recent experience in a group of mostly extroverted types (though we never really know if they are acting and putting on a good front). As an ice breaker, the group was going around the table introducing themselves, extolling their own virtues and successes and sharing something people might not know about them. Inside she was cringing. She was also near the end of the table with only two or three people to come after her. She candidly shared how she was feeling, had them laughing over a crazy anecdote involving her and the law, then asked them to grab her later for a one to one chat. This resulted in a lot of great, meaningful connections. She hit a chord with the room prompting others to start talking about how to change the environment for people like her. It sounded magical.
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