Dining with Della: Roy Wadia over Skype
May 24, 2016
Roy is what I would call a global citizen. From his work for CNN in Atlanta, moving to China to work on the Avian flu, stopping for a bit in Vancouver to help the BC Centre for Disease Control, heading off to Bombay to help with the family biz and work on an AIDS initiative up to currently managing communications for the UNFPA in Bangkok, he personifies a world without borders. The day we Skyped, he was packing for a trip to Mongolia. When he posted a photo on FB in Mongolia the next day, one of his other global friends was delighted to know he was in town and they hooked up for dinner. Only Roy!
I connected with Roy during his stint in Vancouver. We instantly became friends. His worldly views and sincere approach to good communication and important causes make him endlessly interesting.
When we chatted about his life in Bangkok, he shared the realities of living with strict laws, making me uber cautious about putting anything in this post that might get misconstrued politically and cause him grief. On a lighter note, Roy talks glowingly about traffic and the courteous nature of the drivers. Being in a city of 8 million (14 million in the Regional District) you might think it would be utter mayhem. Roy says not. He drives and sees no evidence of road rage. Even in the crowded trains he says people never bump up against you, it is a respectful place.
He says he feels at home there but would be open to coming back to Vancouver should the right opportunity present itself. Spoken like a true globe trotter.
What worked...
What one bit of communication impacted your life?
The phrase that always comes back for Roy is "only connect" from EM Forster who wrote A Passage to India. This phrase comes from Howard's End, another great novel by Mr. Forster. Roy views "only connect" as the foundation for life and all we say and do and how we do it. How we connect to people, the world around us and ourselves. A hugely influential phrase.
Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer. Only connect, and the beast and the monk, robbed of the isolation that is life to either, will die.
What did not work...
Roy cited two scenarios which "flopped", not of his making but in retrospect he thought he might have found other ways to manage through these situations.
The first was during his time at CNN. It was the beginning of the impact of the internet on television. Roy was early to embrace the new ways and realize this was the future. Folks on the TV side were still seeing it as a phase. Eagerly learning about CNN.com and everything online, positioned Roy well. The bosses allowed him to try and integrate it all. That was the year of the dot.com crash. Everyone in the CNN world wanted to have their own piece of it and a bloodbath ensued. In 2001 all CNN.com staff were fired. It got hugely political. His long time friends and respected associates were replaced. He found it distasteful and dispiriting. It became a poisonous environment. Then, there was 9/11. It wore him down and he left. Looking back, he wonders if he could have ridden it out but he did not want to engage in the politics. He questions whether he could have made little adjustments without compromising his values and distancing himself from the toxic bits.
The second time, on a lesser scale, was during his time in Vancouver. He was in a situation that became complicated, nasty and political. I opted to not share all the gritty details as I want him to come back to the city. There are probably too many folks still around who could figure out the people involved and it might hinder his future prospects here. Suffice to say, Roy maintained his integrity, once again. He wonders if he could have handled it better but is glad he did not compromise on his principles.
He really enjoyed his time in this city, thoroughly admired his colleagues at the CDC and ultimately felt his departure was good. He was able to provide much needed support to his family members in Bombay, who were going through some incredibly challenging issues.
(Note from Della: I have had the pleasure of meeting Roy's Mom. She is one of the most delightful people, ever. I see where Roy gets his values, poise and good looks!)
What if...
What advice would you give to your younger self to enhance your ability to communicate with others – and why?
Roy has no regrets but the advice he would impart, not only to his younger self, is to communicate better, you have to listen more. To take a breath before you say something. Give people space to express themselves and listen to ideas you don't necessarily agree with. Everyone has a back story and it is good to understand where they are coming from. Reach out and listen better.
Through his work at the UN, Roy has worked to build trust with the regional offices. He knows building trust is the most effective way to get things done.
I believe Roy is trusted completely by all who know him.
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