Number 49 of 52 Lifelong Communication Lessons: Just not cult material
December 07, 2015
The web browser is introduced. The Soviet Union collapses into fifteen countries. Aung San Suu Kyi receives the Nobel Peace Prize (She delivers her acceptance speech two decades later once released from house arrest). Locally, The Vancouver Sun becomes a morning daily.
I went to hear a motivational speaker that year. I had no preconceived expectations but was knocked out by his messages. He had creative methods for helping you push beyond your preset ideas and meet stretch goals. I don't know why this particular speaker hit a chord for me but he did. I was so excited about his concepts and teaching, I encouraged my boss to embrace it for the good of our company. Before long, we were sending people off to 'train the trainer' sessions and investing heavily in the materials.
When I look back, I marvel at how quickly our cynical bunch took to his concepts and teaching. I was so engaged the man invited my husband and I to his sprawling US ranch for the weekend. That is when my weirdness alarm starting dinging, albeit quietly. They were highly complimentary of my skills and were discussing how we might do contra so our company could promote them in exchange for courses for our staff. I could feel I was getting sucked in but could not see how to admit I was not so crazy about this program anymore. We were doing cool things on the ranch like shooting clay pigeons and it was distracting me from my spidey senses. They were gracious, albeit intense hosts so I kept my thoughts to myself. They kept us so busy we had little time for private conversations. We found ourselves whispering in our room in case they might overhear our contrary opinions. We could not wait to get home.
I was booked to go to Seattle and take the training the following week. When we arrived I was surprised to learn we were going to sit and watch videos of the motivational man. Anytime I asked a question or suggested an alternative, I was shut down by the instructor. Oh oh, starting to feel the cult creep in now. You were not to have a dissenting opinion, especially when you had been a big promoter. It had the distinct aura of "ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die".
I walked out part way through the session with another colleague and hit the nearest bar to figure out what to do next. The company carried on with the program until it died a natural death as did many corporate fads of that era. I think most people got something out of it. I know I still use some of the teachings. One of the organizers tried to connect with me again and blamed me for having a negative attitude. He was quite nasty. Funny, he was all smiles and a good news backslapper when I was seen as an ally. I did not believe critical thinking was a negative attitude and told him so. That bluntly ended the relationship. Huge learning curve for me. Made me understand the saying, "If you are not with us, you are against us."
In my world of consultation and workshops, we embrace the critical thinkers as they help us get to a good place. Encouraging independent thought makes for a better end result, every single time.
Communication Lessons:
- It is okay to change your mind. Just because you initially loved something does not mean you can't fall out of love with it.
- Dissenting opinions need to be valued.
- Even bad experiences are chock full of learning opportunities. And, you can still value bits of learning even if you don't like the teacher or their methodology.
Fast Forward to 2015:
Check out the Scientology documentary on Netflix. You will never look at Tom Cruise the same way again. All I can say is... creepy.
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