Number 45 of 52 Lifelong Communication Lessons: Iconic leaders
November 09, 2015 |
| Johnny Carson, "The Tonight Show" |
The year was 1992.
Bill Clinton is elected US President. Dow Corning says it will stop manufacturing silicon breast implants. Johnny Carson does his final tonight show. Dr. Peter dies - He was an iconic leader who made a difference.
I was fortunate to have great mentors in my life. In 1992, I had an opportunity to meet with a woman who was iconic in the business world. She was hugely successful, a colourful character and had received many accolades and awards from the business sector. I was excited to meet someone of this stature and hoped I would have the opportunity to work with her.
I prepped extensively for the meeting and was armed with all my communications tools to make the meeting a success. I even bought a new suit.
My anticipation swelled as I walked toward her office. I had imagined this powerhouse and forcible personality would wow me from the minute I shook her hand.
As I entered her office, I could physically feel the excitement leave my body. Her office was dated and made me feel like I was in a grandma's living room. She was seated behind a desk, never got up to shake my hand and had pets running around. The place smelled of dog... wet dog. She seemed scatterbrained and unprepared for our discussion. My dreams were getting slashed one by one. Her adult children, who worked for her were summoned into the room and treated poorly. At about 15 minutes in, I was looking for an escape route. We both said some niceties knowing this was our first and last meeting.
As I departed, my shoulders slumped from heavy bags of disappointment, I started to deconstruct the event. I had created this unrealistic scenario bound for failure. If I had not created this imaginary dynamic meeting, it probably would have been fine. I expect my obvious disappointment came through loud and clear. I am sure I said all the right words but my inside voice was creeping through my lack of enthusiasm and desire to run screaming from the room. OMG, she is such a flake!
I have since learned to not put those types of expectations on other people. Totally unfair. Who was I to judge her? I had overblown her image in my head and that was a perfect recipe for disaster.
When I think back I am quite impressed with her. She marched to her own drum and did not conform to tradition. She did it her own way. I would have seen that had I not predetermined what I wanted to see. Such a wasted opportunity, just because she did not fit my image of success.
Communication Lessons:
1. Putting people on a pedestal is unfair.
2. It is much better to meet iconic people without expectations.
3. Learn from all encounters... good and bad.
Fast Forward to 2015:
I am thrilled to see Jody Wilson-Raybould as Federal Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada but let's cut her some slack and not create unrealistic expectations. She is just like the rest of us... putting on her pants one leg at a time.
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