Number 37 of 52 Lifelong Communication Lessons: Mr. Burr, what a darn shame
September 14, 2015 |
| The Berlin Wall is built, August 13, 1961 |
The year was 1961.
The US breaks diplomatic relations with Cuba and sponsors the Bay of Pigs Invasion. East Germany erects the Berlin Wall. The Soviet Union's Yuri Gagarin becomes the first person in space. Locally, direct distance dialing starts in Vancouver.
My first recollection of watching the popular TV show Perry Mason was as a child. It was a favourite family get together watching the courtroom drama. It was also cool to see someone else with the name of Della. That did not happen often for me.
That old TV show has been a constant comfort/guilty pleasure in my life. In the late 70's we went to Hawaii with my brother and his wife... she liked to sleep in and the rest of us were early risers. We discovered old Perry reruns airing at 7am and it became our morning ritual along with a Kona coffee. Years later we would catch the odd episode on the oldies channel. Then, along came PVR and now we have a stash of over 60 awaiting us any time the mood hits.
I was just reading about Raymond Burr, the actor who played Perry and was surprised to find out he was gay. He lived his life in secret and only upon his death was his sexual orientation made public. He died in 1993 and left his money to a long time partner. It saddened me to think of this man,who brought me so many indulgent hours in front to the tube, as someone who did not feel he could be open about his life. The article said he had created a convoluted family history to hide his sexuality. How awful.
Being free to share who we are is such an integral part of communication and creating connections with others. I think of my many gay friends who have no qualms or concerns about free expression. I feel so fortunate to be around people don't need to keep secrets.
We don't have to tell all about ourselves to have good communication but shrouding something as fundamental as who we love is wrong.
Communications Lessons:
- Never assume you really know anyone.
- Have great compassion for people who feel they must keep secrets.
- Be grateful we live in a time and place (at least in Vancouver!) that doesn't penalize people for who they are.
Fast Forward to 2015:
That silly woman who won't issue marriage licenses to gay couples because of her religious beliefs has a lot to answer for if there is a God.
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I'd known for quite a while that Raymond Burr was gay - saw a documentary on his life, including an interview with his long-time partner at their beautiful winery home -- but it was too bad, indeed, that he had to keep his orientation under wraps while he was alive. Ditto Rock Hudson and Freddy Mercury. We haven't got sexual orientation out of the dark ages entirely, but we're sure a long way down the road -- and that's a good thing.
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