Number 8 of 52 Lifelong Communication Lessons: Bad to the bone?
February 23, 2015 |
| Nelson Mandela and Winnie Mandela greeting supporters as Nelson Mandela is freed in 1990. |
The year was 1990.
Nelson Mandela is released from prison. The Simpsons and Seinfeld launch their TV shows. Dr. Peter Jepson-Young begins his aids diary on CBC.
I met a few of these types referenced in my headline ("bad to the bone") along the way. Nasty pieces of work. Tough-minded business people with little regard anything but money and power.
This fellow was particularly awful. I worked for his board of directors through a succession of CEOs and always kept my opinions in check. I know CEOs get their marching orders from above so reserved judgement on the individual order taker.
That was until I saw the nastiness that lurked deep within this man. During one of our initial meetings I sat in the seat closest to the opposite side of his desk, typical chair for any visitor to take. He told me to move to another spot as that chair was below a particularly hot floor lamp. He chuckled as he told me that was reserved for nervous managers he beckoned to his office. He liked to see them sweat. His words were as cruel as his actions.
My dislike of this small-minded man grew quickly. I was working on a massive "downsizing" with him and his lack of humanity and values were beyond tolerable.
At one point, he completely lost it in a highly public way. I was there but in no position to stop the train wreck. As we know, bullies have a ton of their own issues and his came burbling out that day. It got to the point of ridiculous with him jumping up and down in front of my face, threatening to kill the people involved. Whoa. Serious problems here. He called me later at midnight speaking in quiet tones talking about what happened and his Board's reaction. The underlying message was to blame me. Classic.
What this bully did not realize was that I grew up around people like him and had figured them out from elementary school days. No fear or intimidation here.
I wanted to resign this client but was talked out of it. My boss highlighted the fact I could impact some 30 jobs in our company should I tell him to pound sand.
He proceeded to try his power plays with me in meetings. I would give it back and the not so healthy relationship continued.
The day the Board fired him, I was waiting in a side room with the new CEO. He made a rather snide remark as he walked by. Something along the lines of "Dr. Death" and a few other words not befitting this blog.
I knew he had a golden parachute so he would leave with buckets of money. That bothered me a lot at the time. Thinking of all the poor long time employees he fired or put in the hot seat made me feel sick.
I realized later he was the ultimate loser. His communications became his actions and his actions were his downfall. A sad and angry bully. I credit him with the corporate philosophy I adopted once I owned my own business... the "no asshole factor."
Communication lessons:
- Bad communications and behaviours do come back to haunt people.
- No matter how much money or power bullies get, they still end up as the losers.
- If you are this person, go get counselling.
- Feel sorry for the bullies but don't let them impact you.
Fast forward to 2015 - Feb 25th is Pink Shirt Day
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