Reflection 1 of 52: Is saying sorry enough?
January 06, 2014
Over the holidays there was the usual bunch of dumb tweets, bad
quotes and "misspeaking". No matter how many high-profile
embarrassing situations arise; communication errors continue to be rampant.
The apologies abound but seem to do little to douse the
criticism.
This particularly bad tweet from Justine Sacco caused a furor
online:
The story took hold while she was in the air en route to her
destination. She did not know what she created until she landed. She was
promptly fired.
Here is her apology:
Words cannot express how sorry I am, and how necessary it is for me to apologize to the people of South Africa, who I have offended due to a needless and careless tweet. There is an AIDS crisis taking place in this country, that we read about in America, but do not live with or face on a continuous basis. Unfortunately, it is terribly easy to be cavalier about an epidemic that one has never witnessed firsthand. For being insensitive to this crisis – which does not discriminate by race, gender or sexual orientation, but which terrifies us all uniformly – and to the millions of people living with the virus, I am ashamed. This is my father’s country, and I was born here. I cherish my ties to South Africa and my frequent visits, but I am in anguish knowing that my remarks have caused pain to so many people here; my family, friends and fellow South Africans. I am very sorry for the pain I caused.
As those in the communications biz will attest, sincerely
expressing your regret over a mistake would often dampen the rage of an angry
public.
Today that apology can seem trite in 140 characters, a short
statement or a 12 second clip. Even the most sincere, heartfelt mea culpa may not
bode well.
It may take actions as well as words to reverse a negative
scenario. If you are going to be convicted of your crime in public, you may
have to create your own penance. Offering to make amends directly to those
impacted or doing something tangible to redeem yourself might be the show of
true remorse required now.
Take the case of Grist writer, David Robert’s inappropriate
tweet of last summer critiquing an intern of American politician, Anthony
Weiner:
I dunno, and I also kinda think the intern sounds like a social-climbing mercenary hobag. I’m oddly #teamweiner on this one.
Here is his apology (click here for the full story):
As for the “political correctness police,” well, I’m happy they got me. It sucks to think I may have lost a small measure of the respect and reputation I’ve spent years building over a stupid slip, that the stupid slip will always be with me, that at least for some subset of people it will define my social presence, however unfair that seems to me. That’s all fine. It shouldn’t be fair. There should be a high cost to it. That kind of social censure reinforces norms that badly need reinforcement in social media.
Since then Mr. Roberts has decided to take a year off from
social media and his job at Grist. Here is an excerpt from his leave of absence
announcement:
I spend each day responding to an incoming torrent of tweets and emails. I file, I bookmark, I link, I forward, I snark and snark and snark. All day long. Then, at night, after my family’s gone to bed and the torrent has finally slowed to a trickle and I can think for more than 30 seconds at a stretch, I try to write longer, more considered pieces…
… It’s doing things to my brain. I think in tweets now. My hands start twitching if I’m away from my phone for more than 30 seconds. I can’t even take a pee now without getting “bored.” I know I’m not the only one tweeting in the bathroom. I’m online so much that I’ve started caring about “memes.” I feel the need to comment on everything, to have a “take,” preferably a “smart take.” The online world, which I struggle to remember represents only a tiny, unrepresentative slice of the American public, has become my world. I spend more time there than in the real world, have more friends there than in meatspace.
It makes some sense that the people who make communication goofs
often are tweeting or commenting so much, they get desensitized or feel
compelled to be edgier to get more retweets or mentions.
Then we had the Duck Dynasty controversy after one of the show’s
stars made anti-gay comments in a GQ interview. This compelled A&E to
promise to run PSAs promoting unity, tolerance and acceptance among all
people. Not sure if that will outweigh supporting intolerant perspectives. Time
will tell.
Is saying you are sorry enough or should there be more?
Situation dependent, for sure but overall I don't think people can expect to get away with
a mere “I’m sorry” anymore.
If you ever find yourself in this scenario, do apologize but
also think about what else you can offer up. Give time to a relevant charity or
favourite cause of those you offended. Get up close and personal. And, you
don’t have to brag about it. Take a Twitbreak.
What do you expect when somebody screws up?
One more point:
We all know the best way to avoid public humiliation is to not say the wrong thing - Just Don't Do It! However, even those with the best of intentions can make a mistake. No matter what your corporate policy, everyone should have a
personal set of guidelines for their online or public presence.
Some of mine are...
Don't post mad or sad.
Only share things you think are helpful.
Think before you link, like or comment.
Imagine your photo, words or actions on the front page of the
paper.
Many career damaging or life altering communication missteps
would have been avoided if these simple rules were followed.
Posts
2 comments
Great post, Della. I've learned that saying "sorry" isn't enough when I've erred. I need to make an amend, i.e. apologize for my behaviour, and then tell the person that I have learned from the experience and won't behave that way again. Ms. Sacco's apology rings hollow, unfortunately. She tries to somehow excuse her behaviour by saying "...it is terribly easy to be cavalier about an epidemic that one has never witnessed firsthand." Uh, excuse me? No it's not. YOU may find it terribly easy to be cavalier, but I sure don't. And as far as the Duck Dynasty Debacle goes, I feel A&E owes the public an apology for giving these people a forum to disseminate their views. A&E knew exactly what they were signing on for when they hired these folks.
ReplyDeleteYour guidelines are good ones, Della! I mentally review all the implications of specific tweets and posts -- and still make the occasional blunder! It's especially important, as many of my students are my friends on Facebook!
ReplyDelete