Number 17: Preparation Frees You to be Smarty Pants.
April 23, 2012
I was so impressed when I heard that Rudolph Giuliani had been preparing his messaging five years before 9/11 in the event there would be a terrorist attack on New York City. He was the mayor at the time and I can still see him on television calming New Yorkers as well as the world with his amazing tone and words. When I learned of his pre-planning through Dr. Vincent Covello from the Centre for Risk Communications headquartered in the Big Apple, I was in awe of the process and the dedication to good communications from a man I had previously viewed as a bit of a buffoon. If you recall, at the time, he was having marital issues and not generating very good press.
Others in the room when Dr. Covello was sharing the story were appalled and felt his preplanning lacked transparency, as if good communication during a crisis should just come naturally. Hah. People rarely know how to communicate well in a crisis unless they have given it some prior thought. I have seen more people looking like deer in the headlights when confronted with a topic or issue they did not anticipate. My take on this is to always prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Before I knew this story I just thought Giuliani was incredibly smart and savvy — and I am in the business! He seemed so naturally good, a real smarty-pants. I believe that all the preparation in the world won’t work unless you really do care. You cannot practice real empathy and caring. It has to be authentic.
Preparing for tough communications scenarios takes work but the pay-off is huge. Imagine if Mayor Giuliani had panicked or caused more alarm. He really did help get everyone through those initial shocking, horrible hours.
We can learn from these big examples and use the same techniques in our everyday lives.
A major planning technique for corporations is to role play situations ahead of time. There is every reason for the rest of us to incorporate this technique into dicey conversations. Taking someone to task on something they did that hurt or offended you should be practiced well before placing a call or meeting up with them. Note that I did not say email or text message. If you have a problem, you need to address it directly or you may end up in that lower rung of karma and say something you regret.
Even if I cannot take time to role-play before making sensitive phone calls, I make a list of things I want to say and think it through as if I were on the other end of the line. This thought process also forces you to think through your objective. Are you just venting or do you really want to come to a positive solution? Be clear about your objectives. Really clear.
In business people often do what are called “Table Top” exercises. They mean exactly that. You practice out a situation on the boardroom table before it actually happens. Someone creates a timeline and everyone says what they would do…or they actually go through the motions of pretending to do it. In your home you might think of this as a “Kitchen Table” exercise with your family and walk through how you would deal with some family controversy before it happens. Imagine the learning that could happen if you posed serious questions and had everyone respond, then go through a debrief to see if you could improve or change the reactions to have a better outcome.
Here is a short example. You can make them longer but even a 15-minute exercise can be enlightening.
It is 6:30 a.m. and you have received a call to say that one of your closest relatives (married with children) has announced he has cancer and wants to come over that evening to discuss it with all of you. Your kids are the same age as the his kids.
What is your reaction? Not everyone is up yet; what will you tell the others? What will people do who have plans that night? What will the kids say to the other kids they will see at school?
It is now 7 a.m. and everyone is up and the kids have actually had text messages from their cousins telling them what has happened.
Now what?
By 7:30 a.m. someone in the family has posted it on Facebook.
Everyone needs to leave by 8 a.m. to get to work or school.
What is your plan? What are you going to do about the meeting that evening? How are you going to react to emails, calls, and social media throughout the day?
How many families have been through this scenario and managed their communications well? Preplanning might have helped and it might make for a thoughtful family evening versus watching TV or playing on the computer. Think about it.
Can you think of a family or business scenario that would have benefitted from a table top exercise? I would like to create a list of them on this blog.
Next post, we will move to the IDK TEMPLATE. Have a good week.
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