Deconstructing with Della: What is your preferred salutation?
September 11, 2017 |
| Asia Kate Dillon stars as Taylor Mason, a gender non-binary character on Showtime's "Billions". |
I remember when I started wanting to be addressed as "Ms." It was in the 70s and I was adamant that I was not a "Miss" and after I got married in '75, I was not to be addressed as a "Mrs." It seemed unfair to me that men simply got to be called "Mr." and did not have to disclose their marital status.
I had come through an era of having to address my boss as "Mr. So and So" and he got to call me by my first name. Never a fan of hierarchy, I was eager to level the playing field.
In the past few years, we have seen gender identification and gender expression come to the forefront and add another layer to how people want to be addressed. For example, people who identify as "they or them" are becoming more commonplace. For centuries, there have been many other non gender descriptors proposed and used. Today, it seems like some such as "they" are finally getting more traction in the mainstream.
I feel it is important to recognize people in the way they want to be identified. The more I learn, the more I realize what I don't know. I watched some of the Senate meetings on Bill C-16 to amend the Canadian Human Rights Act to include transgendered people and heard varied perspectives related to gender identification and expression. I continually pay attention to and discuss this issue with people to gain more knowledge. I search popular and alternative media for greater insight. The New York Times has covered this topic extensively. Read this article for more details: She? Ze? They? What’s In a Gender Pronoun
In March, Ellen DeGeneres interviewed Asia Kate Dillon, the actor on Billions, who is the first gender non-binary character on a popular TV show. Dillon personally uses the singular pronouns of they, them and their. When asked to explain it further they said, "After doing some research, I understood. Oh! Sex and identity are different. Female is a sex, and sex is between our legs and gender identity is between our ears."
We are starting to see more recognition of this in day to day interactions.
Check out this e-invitation form for an upcoming event in Chinatown:
Now that Bill C-16 has passed to amend the Canadian Human Rights Act, Canadian passports will provide the option to select 'X' instead of just 'F' or 'M' to identify sex.
To deconstruct, communicating with people in the way they want to be recognized is respectful. As hard as it is to believe, I remember extremely negative reactions to my desire to be addressed as a "Ms." Today, "Ms." is commonplace and does not cause a flicker of reaction. Are you and/or your organization looking for ways to be inclusive? I am sure they will love you for it.
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