Dining with Della: Krista Thompson at Acme Cafe
November 21, 2016
Krista Thompson is the Executive Director of Covenant House in Vancouver. She and her team work tirelessly to help homeless and at risk youth get off the street and achieve independence. Their stories would make you weep. I know they still make Krista tear up after a decade of working in this area. Krista emanates warmth, compassion and integrity. It oozes from her. She is genuinely interested in you and asks meaningful questions - imagine what she does for those kids.
We met up at Acme, a 50s style diner on Hastings Street, in the heart of the Downtown Eastside. The swivel chairs, horseshoe counter and mile high lemon meringue pie complete the vintage feel. However, it has a hip vibe from servers with lime green pixie haircuts, animal print bandanas and creative tattoos. Elvis tunes play softly in the background and the place is packed well before noon.
We ignored our better diet intentions and chowed down on BLT's and diet cokes. The food is homestyle good. Flats of eggs are stacked ten high on the counter next to the avocado green meat slicer. They serve breakfast all day long, if you are so inclined.
Krista and I had an immediate click upon meeting some 12 years ago. She had come out of a successful career in the financial world and decided to work in non profit. We also had a special friend in common who solidified our connection. Virginia Greene, now deceased, was a hugely valued person in both our lives. I believe we are inspired by the company we keep and am eternally grateful for what I have learned from these two amazing women.
What one bit of communication impacted your life?
At one point in her career, Krista was struggling with a group of people who were in a position of authority and responsibility around her. She felt resentful of the direction they were taking and how they related to her. She could feel her resentment building and it was starting to seep through how she interacted with them. A mentor said she needed to grant them legitimacy as human beings. She did not have to agree with them, love or respect them but the advice made her take a step back and hear them. As human beings they had a right to their opinion, as did she. It changed everything, she could now see how much the group cared for her and her work and the situation changed.
That bit of communications counsel revolutionized how she dealt with all her relationships.
The same mentor helped her evolve into her leadership role as a CEO, as she puts it "from worker bee to Bee". She was excited but scared as she tried to manage the classic feeling of fraud syndrome. As her mentor said, if you don't know something, just shut the f*** up and people will think you know. And, just be yourself. Krista cries when talking about the kids. It is not something she can control. It is actually a physical trigger called flooding. She could take medication to stop it but thank goodness she doesn't. As her mentor said, it is fine to cry but keep talking.
She has been critiqued for her crying saying it might appear disingenuous. No one who knows Krista would ever use that word to describe her. And, I highly doubt there is anyone who could spend a day in her life without shedding a tear.
(Note from Della: Krista will have done her annual Covenant House sleep out by the time this blog runs but you can support the organization anytime. Check out this YouTube video about their Mother's edition sleep out and see if you don't cry.)
What did not work...
Krista's regretful moment came while speaking to a ballroom crowd of 150 stockbrokers. It was in her early days at Covenant House and she assumed everyone would be equally passionate about her cause. Since she had been in finance herself and was now a "do-gooder", she thought it would be funny to introduce herself as a recovering stockbroker. She said the temperature dropped 150 degrees. This was a group she needed and she pissed them off - Delegitimized their choices. She felt like an ass.
She has since learned to really understand her audience and not expect everyone will automatically share her passion.
What if...
What advice would you give to your younger self to enhance your ability to communicate with others – and why?
Through her work, Krista has loved her message and sharing the story of Covenant House. The older she gets, the more she understands communications is about giving and receiving. She looked up the word communication before this interview and said the word originates from commune. It is the heart of the word. She would tell her younger self it is much more fun to listen rather than pontificate your own words of wisdom. Listening in silence is far more interesting.
(Note from Della: Krista is endlessly curious. We were hardly seated for a five minutes before she was asking about my husband, his health and how we could be married so long. And, she really wants to know. A single male friend of mine likes to ask his dates, "Would you rather be interesting or interested?" In the case of Krista, she is both interested and interesting. A magic combination.)
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