Number 2 of 52 Lifelong Communication Lessons: Confront versus compromise
January 12, 2015 |
| Sacheen Littlefeather refusing to accept the Best Actor Oscar on behalf of Marlon Brando, 1973 |
The year was
1973.
Gladys Knight
and the Pips were singing Midnight Train to Georgia. Marlon Brando refused his
Academy Award for the Godfather and had Sacheen Littlefeather speak on his
behalf protesting the treatment of American Indians by the film industry. Art
Phillips was elected Mayor of Vancouver and Gordon Campbell was his aide.
I had returned
from the quintessential backpacking trip to Europe and needed full time
employment. I landed a plum job with two family doctors as their medical
receptionist. The docs were a husband and wife team, young and hip.
My job was
full. From booking patients to doing minor lab work, keeping the examination
rooms clean, managing the pill salespeople and ordering supplies, it kept me
hopping. It did not take long before I realized the husband’s practice was
dwindling while the wife’s was soaring. He was getting crankier by the day,
treating his few patients poorly.
From what I
could gather he had been a superstar academically and quickly grew bored of dealing
with minor ailments treated by general practitioners. He was condescending and
yelled at his patients for any self-imposed problems such as over eating, lack
of exercise or smoking.
His wife was
the complete opposite, treating her patients with respect and getting new
clientele by droves. I could barely manage her schedule of 15-minute slots. Dr.
Crankypants was down to one or two patients a day, if that.
I loved working
with her so was willing to put up with his tirades. Without many patients, I
was becoming a bit of a target for him.
As his business dwindled, our office space became too expensive. All of a sudden we were moving into shared space with a cardiovascular surgeon. They promptly went on vacation and I packed up and moved the office. Feeling a bit like CinderDella, I was starting to get disgruntled. As much as I worked well with her and had a great rapport with the patients, his behaviour was starting to get to me. They were also starting to have fights. It was awkward and uncomfortable.
After we moved,
things improved. The surgeon was fabulous and his nurse a truly lovely person.
I would help them out sometimes when my doctors were away. I got a great review
and a bonus for my hard work and the smooth relocation.
Then,
mysterious “behind closed doors” meetings started to happen. Hard to hide
things from your receptionist. I had a suspicion they were going to sell the
practice as he had been muttering about going back to medical school to become
a specialist.
One of my jobs
was to keep Dr. Cranky’s office clean. He had massive piles of papers and
sample pill packets everywhere. As I was tidying I came across the business sale contract – he left it in blatant view.
I confronted
him the next day saying I had a right to know as it affected my life. He said I
was part of the deal, I should be thankful to be included in the sale and it
was none of my business. Within about five minutes of heated discussion, he
fired me and I quit.
When I went
back at the end of the week to get my final pay, they gave me a nasty letter
(and no money) telling me I was a horrible employee and listed a whole bunch of
things never mentioned before and were quite personal in nature. Head
scratcher for me. I had just had that great review and a bonus. The surgeon
called and offered me a job as his nurse was retiring. As much as the thought
of snubbing them appealed to me, I just could not bring myself to be in that
toxic environment.
The whole
situation sent me for a loop. It took a long time to realize these were his
issues and I needed to learn from this and move on. When I was able to
deconstruct the situation, I realized how petty and immature the letter was. I was hurt
that Mrs. Doc did not defend me but in retrospect I could see she was in a much
worse situation than me.
I Googled him
while writing this blog. Turns out he is now a psychiatrist with some rather
bad reviews about his condescending, narcissist ways.
Life lesson
learned – don’t take abusive behaviour from anyone, especially your boss. I
should have confronted the situation much earlier
and either worked it out or left on better terms. Instead, I had compromised and put up with his stuff.
Fast forward to
2015. There is no excuse for verbal or physical abuse in the workplace. Think
Steve Jobs, Leona Helmsley and Gordon Ramsay. Make a choice
about how you want to be treated and make it happen or move on.
Next blog we go to 1988.
Next blog we go to 1988.
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