Reflection 45 of 52: Can we connect without saying a word?
November 10, 2014
One of the best things about my work is the people I meet. I had the good fortune to provide some presentation tips to a woman preparing for a TEDx talk. This woman does humanitarian work in Africa but her story was much bigger than her contributions in that part of the world.
Her story is about giving without expectation. It
sounds like such a simple, altruistic idea but when taken to practical implementation,
it is much more than that. She shared how her family received anonymous
financial help as she was growing up. They were poor and someone graciously
made sure they did not go without, year after year. She never found out who
shared so selflessly but it impacted her and how she lives her life. Her
amazing charitable work is a result of freely giving without any expectation on
how she will be rewarded.
Of course, she is rewarded with the good feeling
and love from the people she helps but she is not focused on that.
One of the examples she uses is the paying the bill
for the customer behind you in the drive-through at Starbucks. When she first
mentioned it, I thought, “Who cares about giving to someone in a Starbucks line
up, they obviously don’t need the money!” The more she talked, the more I got
it. It was not about a financial need, it was about doing something good for
someone else anonymously and the potential impact that could have.
Imagine if someone paid for your order and how that
would make you feel for the rest of the day. There would be no way to say thank
you, but I think it might have an impact on what you would do or say for, at
least, a few hours.
So, I thought I would try it. It took a few attempts,
as I seem to hit the drive-through on slow times with no one behind me.
Finally, this week I had my opportunity. It was such a glorious feeling looking
in my rear view mirror at the young couple about to have their
coffees and breakfast paid for. They had no idea they were being watched as they
kissed and chatted while awaiting their morning brew. I wondered how they might
feel and what might transpire in their day that would help someone or do some
good. Not knowing is the cool part.
As I told the cashier I would pay for the order
behind me, he asked if they were friends. Nope, just trying to make their day a
little brighter. He looked surprised. Funny, since I thought this was a
well-known little act of kindness. Anyway, he thought it was pretty cool and it
seemed to make his day too.
As I drove off, I chuckled at the thought of the
tiny gift and what might transpire. I know I was not supposed to have an
expectation of reward but it did feel good.
To answer the first question, I believe we can
connect without ever saying a word, just by spreading a little bit of good
cheer for no reason at all.
Try it, and you will see what I mean.
Try it, and you will see what I mean.
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